Spacetimewarp
When I was 15 or 16, I won a set of science fiction art prints at a
convention of some kind. I enver really liked them very much, but I
wasn't sure what to do with them, so I just dropped them in a box and
forgot about 'em. I found the recently and am now old enough to
appreciate the cheesy lunacy that went into their creation. I
appreciate them enough, in fact, to want to share them with the world.
Presented below are the full 16 prints from Robert M. Powers'
"Spacetimewarp" compendium. I've reproduced the subtitle text from the
prints, as it can be a little bit difficult to read in some cases.
Enjoy.
#1: The Ur-City of fFlar |
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The Artist's first rendition of this Alternate Universe, painted on
the spot during the year 6018 A.D. (21,209,868 A.F.). The figure
in the fireground, signalling to his hyperborean stooge, is the
legendary hery fFlar m'fFlar, who freed his countrymen from the
yoke of the Oppressor-Orb and worked the Yeast Mines with
intergalactic bankers (most of whose names would be eminently
recognizable if one were ill-advised enough to mention them).
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#2: fFlarian Aviandrogyne |
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Apparently predominantly female, painted as it hovered over the
city on a day the artist designates as the αφπ
21-ϑth of Δy, 17,700,426, A.D.
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#3: Gog-fFlar, Quasarquark of fFlar |
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Gog of Magog, God of Goads, Goad of Goats, Guard of Groans, Groan
of Groins, Gert of Frobes, Frobe of Forces; painted as It received
a pledge* of ten quasartalents from the awed Painter.
*later reneged
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#4: Ur-fFlar on the Nile, Terra, Circa March 11, 4106 B.C.
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Constructed by a galactic expedition as a souvenir of its visit to
out Alternate Universe. The Artist insists that this painting is
incontrovertible evidence that Von Däniken is right and
anybody with an I.Q. larger than his shoe size is wrong.
En Passant, if space-exploring fFlarians constructed
the Pyramids, and the pharaonic temples at Karnak, among much
else — this painting seems to prove exactly that —
why couldn't they have been responsible for Machu Picchu, the
Easter Island monoliths, the North Tower of the World Trade
Center, and the renovation of Yankee Stadium? These matters
deserve further study...
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#5: The Game of fFlar |
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Golden Age of Telekinesis. This culture, circa 698,291 A.F.,
achieved the very peak of video game addiction, and yet somehow
avoided inventing the single-pole toggle switch.
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#6: The Cerebral City of fFlar |
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A megacontinuum in the future, when the metamorphosis of corporeal
matter into pure thought is nearly complete. The Artist claims to
have "painted" this scene on the inner eyelid of his right eye by
intense mental effort and to have copied the retinal image at his
lesiure back on Terra. The fFlarian at the extreme lower right
exhibits paranormal indications of homicidal xenophobia.
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#7: Confrontation in a Mutant fFlar |
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Mutating in a millitrice from flesh to titanium/molybdenum and
back again, a fFlarian transsensual faces the Artist in defiant pose.
Painted circa November 13,62,928 A.F.
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#8: fFlar Enslaved: Darkest Period in the City's History
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Painted in 429,804 A.F., under the unblinking scrutiny of the
Oppressor-Orb, this scene depicts the mindless procession of
cloned drones toward the Yeast Mines of the fFlarian Outlands.
The Artist has painted himself into a corner (the lower left) as
is his sometime wont.
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#9: fFlarian Spacecraft Exploring a Dead Planet
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An important episode in the carrer of fFlarian astralnavigator
m'fFlar. Only moments after this incident was painted, m'fFlar
— jaw set in heroically misplaced confidence in his
technological skills — steered the gigantic spacecraft into
a head-on collision.
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#10: fFlarians at the Hunt |
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(Early Gaseo-Paravertebrate Age) Painted as the semi-corporeal
Master of the Chase prepares to vaporize a proto-syzygy hound,
the chief source of formica for the piano keys of fFlar.
(681,928 A.F.)
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#11: The Yeast-Tundra at the East Pole of fFlar: The Mylar Age
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A group of agent-provocateurs draw swords on an
Intergalactic Space Fortress named Desire. Shortly after the
painting went into the requisite period of gestation, the Space
Fortress retreated in an abject display of behemothian discretion.
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#12: Medieval fFlar |
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The halcyon days of the fFlung Dynasty, painted during the 11th
Century A.D. (22,804 A.F. in the quadrinary system of the fFlarians)
when fFlar was a moated walled city, and unicorns, monsters and
modest ladies immodestly occupied the land.
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#13: The City of fFlar: Blue Period, An Age of Robots
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Painted at a moment approximately 210,687,582A years in our
future, their past. Or in a finer calculation,
6,642,332,080,353,952 microseconds, give or take a microsecond.
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#14: Space Prison of fFlar |
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No bars, no guards, no snitches, no solitary, but on the other
hand, no possible escape, no appeal, no passage of time; just
eternal cognition of guilt, since the System of fFlar is
cybercerebrally infallible and only the very guilty can qualify for
incarceration.
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#15: The Corpus of the Ur-Hero |
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At 11:59 P.M. on December 31,999,999 A.F., the collassal
cybernated body of fFirth m'fFlar levitates toward the
predestined monumental sarcophagus that towers over fFlar.
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#16: The Death and Disfiguration of fFlar: The End of Time
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If we are to believe the Artist, the skull in the foreground is
his own, painted after a galactic
implo-Götterdämmerung in which, even as he painted,
he was engulfed. It is known, however, that the Artist was missing
a tooth from his upper jaw, and the skull we have here is fully
toothed...
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